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Forever Autumn

Forever Autumn

Sitting here as I make a crossing by ferry across Lake Michigan and feeling the old Navy terminology coming back in my mind as well as the remembered sea legs like when I was on two of the three ships I was on. And feeling my mind slip back trying to avoid those flashbacks that I know are lying in wait, and as I pass through the smoky fires of memory and glance at myself in that smoking mirror I can feel my mind slipping back to other things.

Remembering visions in the night that carried me so high, laying down and thinking I could wear wings of gold and be able to touch the canopy of Heaven. Seeing the dark light of the sun in your eyes and knowing that I had lain down with an angel, one so kind and taking me to what might be home with heaven below. Knowing the night may end with all being a vision stored in memory to be released when needed as the sun’s dark light turns crimson out on the horizon at the turning of twilight. Trying to keep that memory or vision alive knowing it is held with a look in your eyes that can hold back the river of thought and time.

Now I am sitting here thinking I had done wrong and gone where fools have gone and can feel myself rising up out of the ground and needing to know if it is possible to recapture all once again? After having allowed the demons to rule and control me as they let the worst of me out when I seemed to have crossed that line over to the dark side, and had me push both my luck and your patience. So come with me and take a walk in the light of the moon, or a walk in the rain and discuss things that just can’t be explained in the way you see those things that I can’t see. Yet, you are able at times to see things through my eyes and one day we will see how to move onwards and be able to feel that wave like St. Elmo’s fire wash over us and know it’s alright with days being able to light up our nights.

Though I still seem to feel at times as though I had been injected with a poison, and having some troubles with God in trying to reconcile all and possibly win redemption. So bless me Father for I have sinned, and I have been trying to live with memories and trying to win back some moments from the past. And I ain’t running anymore knowing that one-day darkness will fall across the door and the false clock that ticks and distracts me will one day stop ticking and distracting me when the hands of time run no more. Knowing you have shouldered a load of; ifs, ands, and buts.

I missed you too, and wonder if we can be the best with the rest that we have left and wonder if they ain’t seen the last of us yet? We both look in that mirror there on the shelf and it don’t look like us, but then again yesterday has vanished like tears in the rain, or a teardrop in the sea. I know we both carry our memories and regrets and at times we both paid some dues getting through and though our appearances have changed it doesn’t change who and what we are. If you could dream anything, what would it be and would you tell it to me?

We both carry our choices and try to hide all of our regrets and there will be a price to be paid to fulfill our debts, for what we have sown so shall we reap. Still I will stand with you until the day that I die, and you won’t stand alone until the end of time with me by your side from the end of my life until the end of your life. And I know that sometimes we both feel like we don’t need this life and just need someone to die and to cry for. As I offer my hand and ask if you will once again dance with me and not go gently into the night, and instead to be able to take that jump again and be able to carry me aloft again on your golden wings.

And when all is said and done we both can say that we tried to do it all, and then charge and raise our glasses in the crimson light of the setting sun at the turning of twilight and be able to say with each scar that’s carried; I swear I lived!

Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. October 2016 – 51

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © Copyright Timberwolf International LTD. All rights reserved. Copyrighted and protected under the copyright laws of both The United States and of The United Kingdom. Under U. S. Code Title 17 § 204. No unauthorized duplication by any means including electronic, or copying may be allowed unless permission is asked for in writing and permission therefore granted by the author or copyright holder, or his/her agent. In writing and signed by the owner of the rights conveyed or such owner’s duly authorized agent. And duly witnessed by his or her representative or duly assigned agent. Under penalty of copyright infringement or intellectual property theft. All violators will be prosecuted.

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