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Christmas Whoopee

Father's major Christmas Worry

With apologies to the song "Making Whoopee" Hopefully the words fit the tune.

A lot of tinsel

Kids wanting more

Queues at the check-outs

In every store

What is the reason?

Another season

Another Christmas


Dad is defensive

He knows the sign

It's all expensive,

The gifts, the wine.

But Mom's not stopping

She's gone out shopping

Another Christmas


She's bought out Harrod's

And M and S,

She went through Wallmark

Like an express

So no one's missed out,

She has her list out

Another Christmas


Dad has bought Mom a nightdress

One you can see right through

I don't think Mom'll wear it

Scared that she'll catch the flu.


Mom goes on spending

Without regard

Dad hides the cheque book

And credit card

It doesn't stop her

Our frantic shopper

Believes in Christmas.


Dad doesn't got much money

At least that's what we're told

Mom starts to call him 'Honey'

Dad knows that trick of old.


It's Christmas Eve now

Mom cracks a nut,

Dad feels relieved now

The shops are shut,

He's feeling frisky,

Mom blames the whiskey 

It's Christmas--Whoopee!


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