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Time

She looked up towards the bright blue sky, and then closed her eyes as she felt the sun warm her skin. She was finally home. It had been years since she had come back here. Even though she had made a home for herself in Canada, Sweden was still where she was born and raised. It was in her blood, as much as she liked to deny it. It was still part of her.

It even smelled different here.

A slow smile spread across her face when she heard the quick words of her native tongue. It was her little brother's voice that came piercing through the silence. Oh, the fights she had with him, growing up. He was technically older then her, but she referred to him as her little brother, because he was her youngest older brother.

They were so different, and yet there was a bond that could not be broken. Even if it went months, hell, even years between conversations, he was still her brother. No matter what, they just fell into the same groove as if they had talked just yesterday.

She looked at him. He was a beautiful man, with the typical Nordic look. His blue eyes were so deep that they almost looked fake. His cheek bones were high, and his smile had made many woman fall to their knees. Lord knows, her girlfriends growing up came over to her house to be close to him, not her. He was a charmer, and always had been. But now, he was settled with a woman that knew how to handle him, and for the first time ever, he seemed calmer, more at peace.

Close behind him, she saw her older brother. He was also a very good-looking man. She shook her head at them both. How the hell had they managed to get that lucky with the gene pool? The eldest was a bit stockier and solid. His features were even stronger than his younger brother.

His eyes were what drew people to him. It was as if he carried secrets, deep ones. She knew that behind those eyes, there was a soul as damaged as hers. He just kept it even more hidden than she did. She had found a release for hers. She was not sure he had for his.

He was always troubled, but with the birth of his son, he had made it his life focus to be a good father, and he was. That child held all his love and hope. He was his lifeline.

She took a deep breath, and considered her siblings. All three of them had scars and demons that they dealt with everyday. Deep ones.

Three very different people. Three very different personalities. The very thing that kept them guarded, and with a wall between them, was the very same thing that kept them tethered by an unbreakable bond.

They never spoke of it. They never spoke of the hurt and damage inflicted on them by their mother. Never once had she raised her hands to them, but there were other kinds of abuse. There were other ways to hurt someone's soul and spirit. They all got the brunt of it, but she had got the worst.

The range of emotions they felt for their mother was a constant struggle. On her good days, she was incredible. She could be strong and stubborn, and the most amazing mother. She cooked and baked and took care of them. She would kill to protect her children.

Then there were the bad days.

The dark depression turned her into someone else. Someone she could not reach. She could deal with those moments. She could take care of her, nurture and try to cheer her up. She could play the role of the perfect daughter very well.

But there were the evil days. The ones that shaped and left scars so deep it fucked up her entire view of life. The days that had made her build walls so high that no one was allowed in.

She looked at her brothers as they kept talking between themselves. The younger one was patting the older one's belly, making a snide comment about him gaining weight. The older one just made a face at him. Seeing them like this made her realize how much she had missed them. She was good at pushing those emotions of missing them down. That was the only way she had been able to stay away for so long. She had cut herself off from them. But now she understood the vacuum that it left in her heart.

She could not quite figure out what she was feeling. There was a mixture of thoughts and emotions swirling inside her. She was happy to be home, and to see her family. And then she was anxious and scared to see her mother. She never knew what mood she would find her in.

It was time to stop hiding, and it was time to stop being afraid and finally face her past once and for all. She needed to confront her mother.

It was time.
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