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I’m the Perfect Internet Date; Why am I Still Alone?

"Mastering the social media does not guarantee happiness."
12 Votes 12
Score 4.92 4.92
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188 words 188 words
Published 9 years ago
I am a normal modern male in search of a new mate.
I use the social media to get myself a date.

My web page shows my smiling face with brown hair neatly cropped.
(In life I am completely bald; the pic is Photo-shopped.) 

I tweet that I’m called handsome by a lot of different folk.
(But if you want to Skype and chat I’ll say my cam is broke.) 

My Facebook says I cycle, run, and like to box some rounds.
(That’s true but I can’t do too much. I weigh 400 pounds.) 

At tagged dot com I am a grad who posted mostly A’s.
(I actually was a fast dropout who lasted twenty days.) 

Hireme says I oversee the work of fifty-four!
(By watching workers from my window on a higher floor.) 

Per match dot com on Saturdays I love to walk and cuddle.
(Most Saturdays I’m found face down near some bar in a puddle.) 

But girls will still call or send texts to meet for lunch or tea.
(Boy are they then mortified when what shows up is me!)

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