I feel that happiness is perhaps not meant for me
Contented, stable, smiling, satisfied, maybe those
It's meaning lost, I search but still can not see
Lost in my reverie, to decide and define or to lose

Happiness, sold to us, bought both lock and key
Touching, tangible, it's price marked down each day
Fork over my heart to its tag or forget and be free
Answers I seek in friends, family, anyone who comes my way

Asking again, who holds the key, willing to take on me
Promises, made, thrown against the wall, they break
Over and again, I flail and push you away, just let me be
 You must tire of fighting with my mind, from you I just take

 Let me flounder, sink beneath the waves now ice cold
Worth is not yours to measure or tell me how to feel
I watch your eyes follow me, I want to curl up and fold
How do I ever match the love you keep giving me, it's too real

Happiness perhaps is not meant for me, I say and you smile
Each day you approach and test the waters, what will you find
A mess, piled up in human form, bed to floor, it seems a mile
My eyes see yours again, so I do what I do and try to be kind

One foot out of bed, now two, clothes on, I'll accept from you a soft hug
Dependent, oh how I hate that word, but without it and you I'm not here
Reaching down into my heart, the piece of your soul you gave me, I feel tug
The morning dispensed with, I'm up, your voice calming my fear

You, your smile, warm touch, soft embrace, whispers, my thoughts slowing
Is there another plan for me that I can not yet see, illness surrounds and clouds me
A realization soon dawns, new thoughts replace old, their meaning is growing
It's you I know now, that's the why and the how. A purpose, a way, from you a plea

Perhaps after all, happiness is meant for me