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Over 90 days ago


"The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it." ~Dr. E.

Ice Hockey, Fermented beverages, Cunnilingus,

Favorite Books
The God Delusion, Lightning, 48 Laws of Power, Heart of Darkness, I AM Legend, Das Kapital

Favorite Movies
Cool Hand Luke, Jackie Brown, Inglorious Basterds, Angel-A, Goodfellas, Shawshank Redemption, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Fight Club, Back to the Future I & II, Forrest Gump, Half-Baked, Blue Streak, Silver Streak, Young Frankenstein, Das Boot, Good Will Hunting, Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, The Big Lebowski, V for Vendetta, Trainspotting, Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince

Favorite TV Shows
Fringe, Big Bang Theory, Black Mirror, Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Llamas with Hats, Key & Peele, Drunk History

Favorite Music
Living Colour, Jamiroqua, Spoon,Soul Coughing, Mike Doughty, Alice in Chains, Green Day, RHCP, Jurassic 5, Bloodhound Gang, Pink Floyd, Yazoo, Great Big Sea, Corey Stevens, Robert Cray, Pepper, Van Halen, David Bowie, Rolling Stones, Megadeth, Jane's Addiction, Chris Isaak, David Lanz, Social Distortion, Wynton Marsalis, Morphine, Mark Sandman, Grandpa's Cough Medicine, Bach, Boccherini, Mozart, Corelli, The Two Man Gentlemen Band, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Reel Big Fish, The Mighty Bosstones, Jim Croce, RATM, Paul Simon, Wyclef
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Feelings come and feelings goLike a gentle breezeOr a Winter’s snow Precipitously occurring With a modicum of incubus And ne’er a warning Should thou embrace them?Push them away?Erase them? Multiplicity can be confoundingMake a man feel defenselessAs thou...