Aside from my motorcycle, my cologne is my only wicked and costly indulgence. It was introduced to me by Tyrone, the young man who had my men's washroom attendant franchise at the dance club I managed in Fort Lauderdale. I remember complaining that I was out of my preferred cologne and couldn't find it anywhere in Florida. Tyrone informed me that for the cost of a brandy, he would introduce me to the best cologne on the p...

Somewhere in the back of my mind lies an unpublished work called "Marriage's Made in Heaven Shouldn't Have Receptions from Hell" or "The Goof Proof Wedding Guide." It was meant to be a guide for couples planning their upcoming wedding reception and to assist in avoiding the most common pitfalls. I based the book's contents on my personal experiences from performing for over a dozen years as a wedding DJ and the stories th...

This is a true story; believe what you will. Shortly after quitting school, I rediscovered the joys of reading. The crap they forced us to read in school held no interest for me. So I wandered the aisles of the old library, selecting books whose titles piqued my interest, and would spend hours in their reading area devouring their contents. One day, I happened upon a book whose title I cannot recall. It talked about a sto...

This is a very short but very true story that occurred as my wife and I were preparing to leave for Vegas for our two-week vacation. She managed to find seats on the first non-stop flight, but not over the wings. I really enjoy being seated in the emergency exit rows because they are a little wider, so they provide me with ample legroom. Seated in the row I wanted was an elderly couple; they smiled at me, and I smiled bac...

Anyone who knows me is aware of just how much I hated high school. I have only a few happy memories of the time I was forced to spend there until I quit, and one of them concerns the school wrestling team. This was an old school, and the wrestling team practiced in the girl's gym, as they didn't have their own space, and the basketball team was in the boy's gym. I held the title of trainer, a glorified water boy who assis...

Their Dad came home from work in a great mood. He hugged his two girls and then kissed his wife and the newborn in her arms. "I have a surprise," he said with a smile and the girls crowded around asking what it was. "Taa-Daa," he said and produced three tickets to Kings Island. The girls squealed in delight as they stared at the tickets. "Freebies from the owner," he stated as the girls started at the laminated tickets he...

It had been another brutal self-imposed workout at the Chrome Anvil gym. As I head to the juice bar I nod to some of the other members that I recognize. "This shit was a lot easier thirty years ago," I tell them and they all agree. Most men of my age are content with water aerobics and pilates, but not me. I pumped iron as a young man and have no intention of stopping. I have had to make adjustments with the poundage as m...

It had been another long night at the dance club and the staff couldn't wait for the bright lights to be turned on signaling the end of the evening. The waitresses began to clean off the tables as the floor security ushered the patrons up the flight of stairs and out the front door. I was standing off to the side of the stairs watching the departing masses when the bartender from the back bar came running up with a look o...

Recently, I was reminded of the day I quit high school. Many of my friends believed the decision was made in haste; far from it. I spent a great deal of time pondering this decision. I even called a few potential employers and inquired if a high school diploma was mandatory, and pleased to learn that it wasn't. Remember, dear reader, the year was 1972, and things were very different. So on a beautiful day in May, I made m...

Broken hearts, it's something that many young men and ladies experience. You will recover from your first heartbreak but you will never forget them. Here is the story of my first experience. Now I had quit school at sixteen and went to work despite all the negative warnings from my former teachers and guidance counselor. I found work almost immediately and away from school and the day-to-day harassment from my fellow stud...

#1. It was the year I was doing a show in Omaha, Nebraska that I met Sandy, a self-proclaimed white witch. I had been fascinated by the dark arts for some time and began to read and dabble in them attempting to expand on my sometimes ESP experiences. I was standing by my stage in between shows when I saw this mildly attractive woman walking by with two children in tow. I looked at her, and the name Sandy just jumped into...

The Halloween season was full upon us when my stepdaughter asked me to take her and one of her friends to one of the local haunted attractions. Now my background in planning and executing my own haunted house left me kind of jaded and I rarely ever visited any other attraction. The asking turned into begging that started with the phrase of pretty please and eventually I gave in. Now my stepdaughter despite her love of hor...

It started with a phone call from my wife who was out shopping. "I'm bringing home a cat," she told me. "You don't need my permission. Is it in need?" I asked. "Yes, he is and he's a big boy," she responded. "I look forward to meeting him," was my final word before the line went dead. About two hours later she arrived home with a large carrier. I was told they gave it to her with the adoption. She opened the door and out...

I wrote this in response to a friend that was trying to extol the virtues of being a dog owner. "Cats don't play as dogs do," he informed me. "Yes, they do. You just have to understand the game," I respond. Our little ragdoll female loves to play and her favorite game is "Where's the kitty." The game starts when I go into the basement to start a load of laundry. As I'm sorting the clothes I hear a small cry and I look aro...

It was not a great Summer. The girl I was seeing decided to seek greener pastures and I fought with my buddy Dr. Radio about the way he ran his mobile DJ business. We had a verbal disagreement which ended with my quitting and stopped taking his phone calls. It was on the Friday of that week that I headed out to drown my sorrows at a well known and lively bar/ restaurant named the "Fast Break". There in the large back room...