The skunky but delicious smoke fills this little corner of campus, exiting my lungs only once it's done its job. I feel the calming weight fall over my anxious brain almost immediately and glance down at the tiny joint in my hands, surprised by its secret...
“Once upon a time, I ripped the wings from my spine…” - Special Pets by Otep.“Can’t get your way, so you’re angry.” - Halestorm.“I can’t keep quiet…” - Quiet by Milck.““No!”The nightmare ends as I re-enter reality, feeling around for the lamp in the darkn...
"Come here, 'Lena. Come over to your stepfather." He beckons to me and I walk over, thinking maybe, just maybe, that day at the Zoo was a one-time thing. Maybe... maybe he wouldn't hurt me any more. Maybe he'd be a new Dad- not so much a replacement for...
I stand in the shower,scrub furiously at my pink skin.It is burned from the intensityof the hot water.I have scrubbed myself raw,but no matter what I doI can still smell him.I escaped him,why won't he leave?I still feel so dirty.
After my initial reply, Adam and I sit across the desk from Boss and wait for her to start in on me with questions. She sits for a little while, quiet, making me nervous. I just want to get this over with, but I know that's not how it works. We'll talk at...
Adam hands me the pregnancy test and a package of mini blueberry muffins. I set the muffins aside and look in his eyes as I grab the test and exit the car. I don't say a word, but he nods in understanding, sitting back and drinking his morning coffee, eat...
The days blur as time passes and I wait for Garrett's reply. Bruises disappear as scars multiply and Adam is still as persistant as usual. He wants to know why I'm so silent. He wants to know what 'that' scar is from and where 'this' scar is from. He want...
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It's an understatement to say that Stepmonster wasn't all too happy when I got home twenty minutes late. But because he was hungry, he let me make dinner first. Small reprieve, but a reprieve all the same. He had me sit down next to him and watch him eat....
9. MayDear Diary,I feel so stupid. Why can't I just tell them? Why can't I open my mouth and say it out loud? I can write it here--it's easy. I don't even care if somebody finds it written here. Why can't I report it? Why couldn't I just tell Boss today?...
"Why didn't you just tell her? I know it's your stepfather. You live in the same house; he can't be that good at hiding it." I don't look at him. I get into his car and sigh at the warmth inside, shivering at the cold covering me from the inside out. He g...
"Mommy! Mommy, I have to go potty." I tug on Mommy's summer dress and she looks down and smiles. It is a tired smile, but she grabs my hand and starts towards the women's restroom. He stops her, kissing her softly. "You look tired, dear. Go sit down, I'll...
My arms are white with self-wrapped bandages from my wrists up to my elbows. I have a large tank-top on underneath a long-sleeved jacket. Can't exactly wear it the whole day--it's supposed to be in the 80s today. Funny, summer doesn't start for two weeks-...
"Be awake early tomorrow morning, 'Lena."I shiver and curl up farther into my covers. I don't know what he has in store for me. He's never up earlier than he has to be, which is usually around the time I get home. It's Spring now. I turn eighteen in anoth...
At age five, I had already experienced the loss of a parent. My biological father died of lung cancer. At age six, I had already experienced alcoholism, though not personally. My mom was glued to her wine. That was how I found her one day, walking into th...
