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Wordplay Stories

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Gracie's Collection

Fun With English, Opus 4

When two young, moderately successful vaudeville performers teamed up for a comedy act in 1923, it didn’t take long to realize that they had found the right fit — both personally and professionally — and that their future success would be far beyond moderate. Together, George Burns and Gracie Allen, who married in 1926, formed one of the most popular and enduring comic duos in entertainment history. Burns was largely resp...

A Word Geek Visits the Doctor

Fun With English, Opus 3

It's a dire diagnosis for our intrepid heroine... "We don't see you in here often, Maggie. What seems to be the trouble today?" "Well, doctor, its this darn apostrophe, thats how it started but things has got alot worse in the past couple days. I should of came in sooner. I know." "What exactly do you mean, 'this darn apostrophe'? I don't see any apostrophe." "Precisely my point! It went missing where I want it, than show...

The Hinge (Rhymes With Thing)

Fun With English, Opus 2

Some words that we believe exist, really don't. Our family dinner that Sunday held a certain amount of importance. It would be the first time in ages that we'd all be together at a time besides a major holiday — and the first time my two older sisters would meet my boyfriend, who by then was already an unofficial fiancé. Their opinion wasn't a deal breaker by any means, but I hoped they would like him as much as my parent...

The Spelling Bee

Fun With English, Opus 1

Some words that don't exist, really ought to.   "The word is 'peppier,' pronounced 'pep-ee-ay'," announced the spelling bee moderator."Definition, please," replied the entrant, launching by rote into the set of questions she had been taught to ask."One who grinds spice onto a diner's food at a restaurant.""What is the origin?""'Peppier' is faux French.""Faux French?""Yes, that is, it is not truly a French word, but rather...

A big roll of cash means that you can bet to win!A big roll of fat can have you dosing insulin.Being fabulously rich means going where you want to go!Eating fabulously rich might mean pain in your big toe.Getting off of a bus is just a mundane boring event.Getting off on a bus means that bail money will have to be sent.Being dimly lit can be relaxing and romantic.Being dimly witted can make friends and bosses frantic.A te...