Weed Stories

I lit the J between my lips and sucked its smoke deep into my fifty-year-old lungs. I held my breath and let it coat me inside. I sucked in more air to expand them further; to expose more tissue to the smoke. The deep recesses expand and then extract what they can before I blow the cleansed smoke out my nose. I never let my weed simply leave my mouth. No sense letting good shit escape into the air. I didn’t know the chick...

Note: This compilation occurred to me more than a year ago. In fact, the reason I logged on to Facebook on March 14, 2017, was to reach out to Alan and propose that we combine our efforts, merging his Colorado Calling and my Jersey Rejoicing into one poem. Instead, I learned that morning of Alan's passing a few days earlier. It threw me for a loop, and the idea got pushed to the back of my mind. But it was always there, t...

Big BubbaBy James GersbeckIt finally reached about noon when I had enough of the day’s boredom, and decided to call Phil up. My house was desolate anyway and I needed to either get out or do something that called me away from pointless masturbation and scheduled television. I sat scrolling through the mindlessly entrancing posts of Facebook waiting for Phil when I heard the small “pop” that was followed by an instant mess...

This humorous riposte to "Colorado Calling" by Alan Jankowski (Dirty Martini) not only employs the same rhyme scheme, but in fact rhymes perfectly with the original while telling the opposite point of view. At last he's gone, hip hip hooray!Let him go mooch off the cannabis cadre.No doubt he'll return before too long—(Given the bum's rush, the urge will be strong.) For too many years I put up with that snake,His easygoing...

Moved to Colorado the other day, Told the wife I needed to get away.I guess she didn't think that I'd be gone long,Since all I packed was underwear and a bong.The decision to move was easy to make,In fact, it was a piece of cake.Ten long years with that naggin' bitch,I definitely knew it was time for a switch.One day I just realized that I had enough,So I grabbed a bag, and packed my stuff,Didn't even bother to say 'Goodb...